So Close

Perfectly summing up the difference between my twins

Conversation in the car on the way home from school.

Kate:  I wish I could fly in an airplane

Me:  Well, maybe one day we can all go in an airplane

Adam: I will be too scared to go in the airplane

Me: Why? It will be fun!

Adam: But what happens if I slip and then trip and fall, and as I fall the airplane door opens and I fall out?

Kate: I won't be scared!

Me: I am sure you wont.  Adam, they lock the door so it won't open accidentally.

Adam: Oh, ok.

Can you BE so intense when you are not even five years old??

The Fokkers have returned

My parents arrived home last night, I can't believe how excited I was to see them.  Honestly, it is like I am five years old. I was like a kid the whole day yesterday, jumping up and down inside myself at the thought I would eventually see them in a few hours time.  I wonder whether I will ever stop being their little girl inside.

My mother said it was an adventure of note, she has a fantastic sense of humour, I think I should get her to write something up about their trip away. 

YAY! My mommy and daddy are home again!

Terms and Conditions Apply

4 years ago, in a sudden flash of genius that was part brilliance part madness, I had the seemingly brilliant idea of giving my husband 6 pieces of paper with the words "one free pass" printed on each of them. It seemed liked a really good idea at the time as he is very hard to buy gifts for.  However, one key flaw of my idea is that I had not specified the terms and conditions of the offer.  I foolishly though that my husband would use the tickets for things like a night out with his wife, or a home cooked meal (clearly not cooked by his wife), a back rub etc.  However, Marko had only one type of free pass he wanted, and he used all the tickets for that one thing.

Another major error was not collecting the tickets after use.  After the 17th appearance of a rather worn looking ticket, I began to suspect he was reusing the same ticket over and over again.  Cunning man.

Finally, I had forgotten the all important issue of an expiry date.  No 'special offer' is offered for an unlimited period of time - that is hardly special is it.

My mistakes of the past came back to haunt me last night.  While scratching around his cupboard looking for something, Marko found the well-used last remaining free pass and stuck it up on the light switch.

We had a good laugh about it, what an industrious chap he is. 

Which made it even harder for me to explain to him that unfortunately the offer was only valid while I was in my thirties.  It had unfortunately expired Nov 2008 on my 40th birthday.

Which goes to show, it really is so important to read the fine print on everything nowadays. 

Dear ________, Love, me

I need some advice.  As you know (because I've told you ad nauseam), I am extremely unbelievably very (VERY!) busy.  Too busy for my own good.  Not that I am complaining too much - a busy life is a full life and I would far rather have a life that is a little too full than too empty.

However, I have realized that I need to focus my limited resources (time and energy) into the things that are most important - firstly my kids, secondly my income.  Oh, and my marriage, but I will be the first to admit that my poor long-suffering husband often goes short-changed. 

There are things that I want to do, things that take up a huge amount of my time but that don't satisfy my three main priorities (kids, marriage, income).  Which means they go to the bottom of the queue for when I have time. Haha, time.  Right.

One of these things is my personal email.  I get lots of emails on a weekly basis from wonderful people around the world who have either read my book, or my blog, or have heard about my story.  They send very moving emails, reaching out to me, asking for support or just an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on.

"Hi Tertia, my name is xxx.  My husband and I are battling with fertility...."

"Hi Tertia,I don't know even where to start..... I really don't know where to turn next and I desperately needs advice...."

And I am embarrassed to say that I have not gotten back to many of them.  I whip through my personal emails when I have time, answering what I can, when I can and I 'save' the special ones for when I have time to compose a decent response. I have emails that are over 3 months old that are still waiting for the time and the decent response.  Truth is, I am not going to get the time unless I take time away from any of the three priorities.  Or never sleep again.

So what do I do?  Do I send a polite auto response saying "thank you very much for your email, I would love to respond however I do not have the time"? That sounds incredibly heartless.  Do I just ignore them?  That sounds worse. I would feel very hurt if I had sent a heartfelt email to someone and they ignored me.  Do I create a standard template that says something like "Dear ______, thanks for your email. I am sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.  I hope things work out for you soon.  Kind regards, Tertia" . So unfeeling.

It sounds ridiculous - how long does it take someone to answer an email?  Well, it takes more than a few minutes to read the email, digest it, and compose a proper response. I quite honestly don't have those 100x 10 minutes it takes.

I have another plan that I wanted to bounce off you.  I have a wonderful friend who works with me, and who has been through even more IVFs than I have.  She knows this world as well and as painfully as I do. I thought of asking her to respond on my behalf.  To offer the support and guidance that these people are asking me to do? What do you think?  She is keen to do it, so that is no problem, it is just that I am not sure how it will come across?

So, what would you do if you had a hundred emails in your in box, waiting for answers and support that you don't have the capacity to give?  Ignore, auto response, standard template or ask-a-friend?