I hate cooking. I really really do. Not only do I suck at it (see picture of previous attempt at cooking below), but I don’t enjoy it. So many people say they love cooking – I don’t get that? What’s there to love? It’s a pain, it makes you hot and it messes up your kitchen.
I decided on Sunday that I would attempt to make stew on Monday. Its heading towards winter and so stew would be nice. So I bought stewing lamb, carrots and potatoes. Ready to make the stew. I popped into my mom’s to get some notes on how to make the stew. So she starts: Brown the meat, then take the meat out. Then brown the onions. What onions? I don’t have onions. Fuck. Now I have to go the shop again to get f’ing onions. Then chop up potatoes and carrots and put them in the put. And let it cook for an hour on low heat. So I ask: when do I put the meat back? She laughs hysterically and says with the potatoes etc. I stressed to my mother ‘you need to tell me EVERY THING, step by step. Don’t assume I know any thing, because I know nothing’. She then told me some confusing stuff about thickening the sauce with cornflour or whatever. Another trip to the shop. Oh shit, yes, and I also had to add stock. Which naturally I did not have at home as I only have essentials like frozen dinners and peanut butter.
Last night I made the stew. So I rushed home from work (well after my chiro appointment), dashed to the shops to buy stuff (stock, onions etc) and rushed home. I was late due to chiro appointment. I thought the whole cooking thing would take an hour or so. Turns out it takes longer than that. Irritating.
Anyway, get home. Don’t even have time to change our of work clothes. Grab a glass of wine and a quick fag. Take out pot. Realize I only have one decent pot and its small. Half the ingredients and freeze the rest. Another quick glass of wine.
Burnt my damn hand on the pot. I hate cooking! Then have to call my mom again to ask her how to cook rice. Get instructions. (she thinks it is hilarious). Another quick glass of wine. (really small glasses, I promise). Thank god she has a microwave recipe for making rice. Really easy.
I specifically asked my mother if I should stir the stew regularly. She said no. So I did not stir it. The fucking stew burnt at the bottom. How fucking irritating. I hate cooking.
Any way, it came ok. Actually tasted not that bad if you avoided the burnt bits at the bottom. Marko said the burn added a nice flavor to the stew but I think he was just being nice.
Ate supper, (another few sips of wine), another fag, watched American Idol special show with William Hung – She Bangs!!! LOVE that guy!!!
Mother phoned to check up on how the stew turned out. Moaned at her for giving me wrong instructions re the stirring. Apparently I had the stove too hot.
Then had to clean up mess in kitchen and scrape burnt stew from bottom of pot. And then only could I go shower and get into my pj’s.
Now tell me honestly – is cooking worth it? I don’t think so. I could buy ‘heat n eat’ dinners from Woollies (an up market food store here in SA) that are perfectly fine, you don’t burn yourself or the food and there is no mess?
I hate cooking.