*WWM = World’s Worst Mother
Today I was the reluctant but deserving recipient of the WWM Award.
I decided to venture out for my first mall outing. TRAUMATIC!
Suddenly the mall was inundated with previous seemingly innocuous dangers lurking in every corner. Coughing old men (TB carriers??), sneezing small children (RSV??), grabbing germ covered hands of old grannies (ecoli? ebola?), germs and bacteria multiplying at an alarming rate in the stale air turned over and over again by the extra strength polar-like air conditioners.
They had cranked the air con up so high icicles were forming at the end of people’s snot filled noses. I had forgotten how cold it was in the mall and had dressed my poor innocent lambs in summer outfits and brought only the thinnest of blankets. CHILD ABUSE!
The poor darlings were freezing to death, in fact Kate’s legs went blue. I felt like the worst mother ever. As soon as we noticed we raced out of there, but by this time my poor children had been exposed to the arctic air for about an hour.
Every single shop assistant was on a go-slow and did every transaction in slow motion. I tried to exchange some things and the women ‘helping’ (used in the loosest possible sense of the word) was so slow that I eventually grabbed my stuff back and said never mind, I can’t wait any more.
By the time I got back to the car both kids were hungry and screaming. There was lots of crying, mostly by myself.
Kate now has a crusty eye and I am convinced it is because of my horrendous mothering habits.
It was v v stressful. Who knew the mall could be such a scary place.