WWM* Award

*WWM = World’s Worst Mother

Today I was the reluctant but deserving recipient of the WWM Award.

I decided to venture out for my first mall outing.  TRAUMATIC! 

Suddenly the mall was inundated with previous seemingly innocuous dangers lurking in every corner.  Coughing old men (TB carriers??), sneezing small children (RSV??), grabbing germ covered hands of old grannies (ecoli?  ebola?), germs and bacteria multiplying at an alarming rate in the stale air turned over and over again by the extra strength polar-like air conditioners.

They had cranked the air con up so high icicles were forming at the end of people’s snot filled noses.  I had forgotten how cold it was in the mall and had dressed my poor innocent lambs in summer outfits and brought only the thinnest of blankets.  CHILD ABUSE!

The poor darlings were freezing to death, in fact Kate’s legs went blue.  I felt like the worst mother ever.  As soon as we noticed we raced out of there, but by this time my poor children had been exposed to the arctic air for about an hour. 

Every single shop assistant was on a go-slow and did every transaction in slow motion.  I tried to exchange some things and the women ‘helping’ (used in the loosest possible sense of the word) was so slow that I eventually grabbed my stuff back and said never mind, I can’t wait any more.

By the time I got back to the car both kids were hungry and screaming.  There was lots of crying, mostly by myself.

Kate now has a crusty eye and I am convinced it is because of my horrendous mothering habits. 

It was v v stressful.  Who knew the mall could be such a scary place.

Comments

[Jody]

Nothing I can say about the lack of warm coverings (been there, done that) or the germ-infested mall (hate malls, avoid them like the plague, because you never know where the plague might appear) but must say, CANNOT POSSIBLY be today's contestant for WWM Award because you GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE. Any time the mother of month-old babies gets herself out of the house and introduces her children to something new, she is automatically enrolled in the "doing pretty darn well, thank you very much" club and exempt from the daily WWM Award nominations.

Because wow, you are really doing pretty darn well, my dear!

[Egg Donor]

Shortly after I was born, my mom decided to take me to the mall. This was in Chicago, in the winter. Our shopping went fine, but by the time she left a blizzard had LITERALLY descended on the city. On top of that, the battery in her car was dead, so she had a 3 week old child outside in a snow storm. She said she would go up to people, crying, with this little baby, and ask them to jump her car, and they would actually say "I'm not going to do that with MY car!".

Eventually she found a nice man who helped, but for the time I spent in the cold, a mere snowflake among snowflakes, I think you still have a ways to go to beat her out.

Really, Tertia. You're wonderful. You're doing a great job, and I'm sorry people aren't working with you. You're great. Excellent mother. Just keep saying it to remind yourself.

[Jane]

Oh Tertia, this is too funny, it reminds me of my first mall outings!!! All of mine threw up, one on the car ride there, one in the mall and one on the way home!! They were starving and I was crying!! (It still kind of happens this way even now!)

BTW, my 2 girls hands/feet/legs still turn blue when cold (my boy's does not.) The PED says it is from immature circulation and they are fine. That sometimes they may turn blue and not be cold. Check with your doctor about that, mine were 14 weeks premature so I'm guessing that may be why they still have it at 16 mos old.

You're definitely a great mom!! And venture out when you can. Getting around with the babies will make you much more sane!!

Jane

[Jennifer]

Tertia- You are an amazing Mother to even venture out with 4week old twins. Definitely not WWM. The mall can be a very scary place even with one baby. I always worried about people breathing on my preemie.

[Summer]

I got my own WWM award -- graciously given to me by my father and other relatives -- because we kept our house so cold. My son's a January baby, too, and where I live January is winter, and that particular January was miserably, bitterly cold. We kept our house at about 62 degrees (fahrenheit, sorry, I am clueless about celcius), and every visitor told me that my child was going to DIE from the cold, even though he was dressed in fleecy outfits and swaddled in two layers of blankets. However, my Moscow-born and raised mother-in-law assured me that cold is GOOD for babies. Makes baby strong! Strong like Russian!

Later that year my next-door neighbor yelled at me for taking my baby out in the SUN. "Cover that baby!" she screamed. When you've got "WWM" tattooed on your forehead, you can't do anything right.

Congratulations on managing your first outing. I think you did an amazing job, to survive an hour in the mall!

[Lioness]

Any parents who venture out w two month old babies deserve a BRAVERY award and that's it. My God, I've seen people fretting over their new coats, worn outside for the first time, can't imagine the fear for 2 tiny fledglings. The air con in such places still kills me every time, VERY EVIL THINGS.

[Lisa S (& Riley, Bella, & Adelyn)]

Wait until you take them to the grocery store for the first time!!

[Monica]

It was very brave of you to take them to the mall; I literally didn't leave the house for the first 7 weeks. I hope your next experience is better. You're doing a great job.

[j]

Not the world's worst mother at all. I've had to buy blankets while out more than once because I realized that I had totally underdressed my babies. Wasn't it good to get out, even with all the diseases floating in the air? At least it is not RSV season, and people are not filled with cold germs. If they were born in the Northern Hemisphere, everyone would be coughing and sneezing and wiping their noses with their bare hands and then trying to touch the babies. My preemie girls were born December 30, and it was freezing, but I really was the worst mother, because I took them out all the time. I went insane stuck in the house all the time.

I live in a city, so no malls. I took my babies out for walks in the open air, and sat way in the back of restaurants at off hours when they weren't crowded. But I remember visiting my mother and going to the mall. It really is a scary place.

[Pazel]

I received my WWM award after a mall trip too. I drove all the way home with my lovely 2 month old in her little saftey carrier which was clicked into the base which was tightly seatbelted into the car... except that I had forgotten I hadn't belted her back into her seat after I had taken her out in in the mall for a feeding. If I had been in an accident, the carseat would have been safe, but she would have gone flying out!

It happens and thank goodness there is no real damage. You're very brave to take them both out, I'm sure next time you go out you'll be over-prepared, bringing something more akin to a suitcase than a diaper bag.

[Lisa]

You are not the worst mom ever. I took my 5 day old to the mall in winter- because I had no clothes for her. Too superstitous to buy before hand. We were there two hours with everyone saying "how old is she?" I finally just got so I told them Child Protective Services phone number and said "call." And it was DECEMBER. I was an idiot.

[Lisa]

You are not the worst mom ever. I took my 5 day old to the mall in winter- because I had no clothes for her. Too superstitous to buy before hand. We were there two hours with everyone saying "how old is she?" I finally just got so I told them Child Protective Services phone number and said "call." And it was DECEMBER. I was an idiot.

[Nancy]

Ok, you win the award but ONLY if WWM stands for WORLD'S WONDERFULEST MOTHER!

[Stefanie]

LOL I'm sorry but you make me laugh! I had my dd out at 6 days of age at Walmart of all places (against my mother's wishes.) DD is almost 9 so I guess it didn't hurt her. You're babies will be fine, it's us parents who become nervous wrecks out of hidden dangers!

[blackbird]

Imagine the money you'll save.

[Mandy]

Tertia - you're not the world's worst mother, you're not even a bad momma. You're divine and the rest of us know it even if you don't. You got out of the house, with the babies and you all survived. Whoever mentioned the poor circulation is probably right. Also she who said you fit in the category of "we're doing just fine, thank you" she's right too.

[Laz]

Tertia, you are as brave and wonderful as everyone tells you! I wish I'd known about the scariness of malls mixed with new babies. Back when my son ate approximately every three minutes and we measured his age in weeks, I made the mistake of trying to shop at a department store. My husband and I were tooling around on the second floor when Drew got hungry. "I'll take him and find somewhere to feed him," I said, "You keep shopping..." I left my jacket on the back of the stroller and took Drew out of his snowsuit, and proceeded to try to find my way through the labyrinth to the ladies' changing room with a screaming tot in my arms. I'm pretty sure everyone in the store stared at me as I raced around, convinced I was absconding with someone's child. Then I had to wait in line for a changing room, and no one offered to let me go ahead.

I hope the water is warming up, it wont be long now :)

[stephanie]

You are beautiful and divine, and so are those babies. I'm sure they are absolutely fine, and mom was probably worse off than them :-). I think every new mom feels like that. :-)

[LadyBug]

It's a scary, scary world when you have little ones. And those "grabbing germ covered hands of old grannies"? I don't know how many times I've wanted to scream, "STOP TOUCHING MY CHILDREN" to germ-ridden strangers at the mall or the grocery store. I mean, it's COLD AND FLU SEASON, for crying out loud! HANDS OFF!

[Susy]

Malls are scary, even under the best of circumstances. But fear not. It's not cold/flu season over there. If Kate still has eye crusties tomorrow you might want to call her ped. and see if she needs drops, but it's probably no big deal. My daughter has had eye crusties off and on all her life.

You're not the worst mother ever. I've still got you beat there. Check out my resume:

Age 7 mos: Left baby alone in Boppy pillow on sofa. Baby suddenly learned how to escape Boppy. Rolled out, head hits table. Screams. Off to Emergency. (no damage, except to my nerves--God's first free pass to me)

Age 15 mos: twisted ankle while carrying precious baby down street and fell; baby's head hit pavement. Called pediatric office from cell phone (in tears) and deduced that there was no immediate reason to go to hospital. No damage (God's second free pass to me). 10 years off my life in one fell swoop.

Unfortunately, no one tells you how many free passes you get. But they are surprisingly resilient little things.

[Verna]

You are NOT the WWM, unless as state above it means "World's Wonderfullest Mom".

Malls are evil.....but I can top the horror stories. My son was 6 months old, not sitting up perfectly, but doing pretty good. The daycare had a photographer come in for pictures, so naturally I lined up.

The idiot sat him in a basket (it was fall...cute idea, but No.) and told me Not to Brace him - my hand would be in the picture.

Being a horrible Mom, I did as she told me...she tried to get his attention, and started flapping a folder in the air. He followed it with his eyes...and his head...and right after she snapped the picture, he fell out of the basket, off the table, and smashed his head on the concrete floor.

I was told the rooms down the hall heard the bang. *sigh* The doctor rushed him into X-ray...he's now almost 5 and perfectly normal (however normal a 5 year old male is, that is..)

Don't fret - you are doing great!

[Scully]

Stop trying to usurp my crown. I have court papers that say I'm the world's worst mother.

You're a wonderful mother. And I think you're so brave for going out with two small babies into a mall. And let's face it, people are stupid and go out when they're sick and they shouldn't.

I have a boss who's come to work every day for the last month even though he's had the flu and is only starting to get better now.

My son was born during a cold snap (-30C) and I took him out to the mall. I don't drive, so it meant bundling him up, and then bundling him into the stroller, walking to the train station, taking the train to the mall, unbundling the poor sweating kid, shopping for all of 3 minutes, bundling him back up, going back on the train and going home.

He lived, I lived, but boy was his father mad at me. Whatever.

I think you're a wonderful mother.

[Mollie]

I shan't discuss why it is that I am actually the WWM; until I have a private blog, I can't risk the repercussions of detailing my infractions!

[lorrie]

Oh, yes, sweet memories. 6 month baby crawls off water bed and dives to floor, head hitting THUD. Sister, exact same age, does truly spectacular somersault off of couch lands on head THUD. They really are resilient...4 year old, wanted bed rails off bed, fell from sleigh bed onto hardwood floor face first the other week THUD...lip looked great in 24 hours.

[Julie]

I simply can't wait until the childfree folks find these posts and comments.