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Here´s a thought. The biological mom gets called the norm "Mommy", and her partner gets called "Momma / Mom INSERT NAME".

A friend of mine who has adopted her nephew has told me how her son calls her by her first name when they are alone at home, but then if they are out in public or he has a friend over, her son will call her mommy. Somehow or another he worked out the difference and was able to apply what made him feel comfortable in a situation. (Her son is now 11 years old, and she adopted him when he was about 4 y/o, so he does know he had another mommy before).

Can't think of anything "clever" off-hand, but what I typically hear is "Mommy (insert 1st name)" for each.

I did find this site had a bunch of translations for the word mother into other languages.

Same type of thing can be found on answers.com

But mostly I wanted to say - YAY! on the 12th cycle working!!!!

Two mom family here. We are Mom and Mia. We also searched and searched. All names for mom from our heritage ended up so similar, as you said, that we just came up with Mia out of the blue. It works for our kids. Even some of their friends (who know us especially well) call my partner that.

Many of our friends go with Mommy X and Mommy Z or Mama X and Mama Z (obviously inserting the appropriate name) or let the kids decide as they begin talking. My partner didn't want to go that route, so we started calling each other the names we chose before the kids started talking, as do hetero families.

Best of luck to your reader! Yeah!

Two of my friends go by Mommy and Eema (Eema is Hebrew for Mommy).

My best friend and her partner use "Mommy" and "MeeMa" (or "Mommy" backwards), which has sometimed been shortened to "Meemee". Both of their girls riff on it (ages 2 and 5).

Another two mom family. We have 3 other 2 mom families that are friends and we have ALL adopted the same formula: Mom & Mama. The one who is mom might sometimes go by mommy as well. I know for us (& for our friends) it was important to have something equivalent to show that both of us are equal mommies


ps-dd is only 8 months old so I expect she may come up with different names for us later & that's okay too!

One half of a two-mommy household here! :) Before we became foster/adoptive parents, my partner and I wanted to be Mama and Mommy but that was too confusing for our 4 year old foster son to remember. We ended up with Mama B and Mama J. When only one of us is with him, he will use the standard "mom" or "mama." When we're together he will use "mom" when he doesn't care who answers and Mama B when he specifically wants my answer or Mama J when he wants my partner's answer.

Honestly, I'd rather just be Mom/Mama/Mommy - without the letter distinction but I'm just glad I have this child of mine and hope we (finally) get to adopt him soon.

There's the African American contraction M'dear. Short for Mother Dear.

There's the African American contraction M'dear. Short for Mother Dear.

My cousin has a two mommy household and they use momma and the other mommy is Komma using the first letter of her first name.

Another two-mommy household, with 6 mth old b/g twins. We're trying to use Mommy/Mama but don't manage to get it right ourselves. So, we'll see what emerges as they get older. Probably something like Mommy A and Mommy B. We envy two daddies--Daddy and Papa are different enough. I guess the difficulty with words comes with the territory--are we lesbians or gay women? lovers? partners? wives? partnered? married? unionized? civilized? (we're in Connecticut, USA, where there is a legal relationship). At least the babes will have a large vocabulary . . .

Most two mom families seem to do the Mom/Mama thing. We do know one family who use Mama and Eema. The kids eventually differentiate on their own, and one friend of ours claims that they can tell just from the inflection of the child's voice which Mom they are talking to. We haven't decided yet.

I know a couple that uses Momma and also Amora (hebrew meaning for interpreter). They like it because it's different enough to be distinctive. Now that the little one is older she often refers to her as M'amora (short for My Amora). People often say "your Momma" "your Amora" when talking about her mothers. I think it's lovely.

The first commenter said something about using one name for the biological mom and a something else for the other mom. In this particular case, though, it sounds like they're both biological moms! One carries the made from the other's egg.

My 5-year-old has taken to calling me "Mom-mom."

we're a two mom family with an 8yo daughter and a 2 yo son. officially, we're mama marta and mama julie, but really our kids either call us both mom or mama (when it's clear whom they are talking about), and marta/julie when they need to make a distinction. i know some parents don't like being called by their first names, but i kind of like it, as long as i get to be mom/mama sometimes too!

we have friends who are mama and mommy, and although i can never remember who is who, their 9 yo twins have no problem.

i'll admit i hate when the "biological" mom gets the "real" mom name, and the other mom gets some made-up name. i mean, the mom who didn't give birth is no less a mom than any other adoptive mom, so why should she get some made-up name (unless it truly has meaning for her). but i guess that's just my pet peeve, and if it works for other families, who am i to say it's wrong. wouldn't work for my family though.

I've heard Mommy and Eemah, Mama and Mommy, Mom and Mommy. But all the lesbian couples I know complain that thier male counterparts have it much easier - Daddy and Papa seem to work so well. "Dammed different letter thing" as one friend has told me many times.

My friends are "Mommy" and "Momma," and it works out beautifully.


My daughter's friend calls her one mom "Mommy" and the other "Mommi"- pronounced mom-eye.
That seems to work great for them.

i think that meimei is chinese for mother, sounds like may-may. would that work?

Not an issue we've had in my household, but I've got good friends who are a two-mom household. The birth mother is "Mommy", and her partner is "Mama". For a while their son called them both Mama, as that's the easiest thing for a baby to say, but he's about 18 months now and he's now calling each mother by her correct designation.

As long as the mothers and any other important adults in the kid's life are consistent in applying the names "Mommy" and "Mama" to the correct mothers, I think the kid won't have any problem with the similarity of the names.

FWIW: My friends use Mom(Mommy) and Mimi.

I've also heard a family in which it was Mommy and Moofy (moo-fee). The oldest child started it as a baby, it's a nonsense word.

I started calling my mother "Ma Mere" when I was in high school. It's french for my mother. That is what my kids call her now.

My friends use Mummy and Ima. Ima speaks Hebrew to her daughter and Mummy uses English.

How about Mimi?

I'll probably be Mommy and my partner, Mama. I was raised by parents who thought "Ma" or "Mama" were too informal (you know, one of those households where the kids say "Yes Ma'am/no Ma'am, Yes sir/no sir".) So I would feel weird being called Mama, but my partner wouldn't. Of course, our children are still purely hypothetical, so we'll see what actually happens. I don't want to go with another language or some sort of precious nickname that doesn't clearly convey motherhood, because we'll have enough trouble with people not understanding the two-mom thing.

My problem being a single mother of donor sperm IVF twins is that they keep on calling me "DaDa"!!!!!!!
Just drives me crazy that this is the usual first words from any baby's mouth and there is no "DaDa" here!!! Am desperate to hear them say "Mama"! (It is all about me, isn't it?!).
But, about the inquiry at hand...
I have heard gay couples use "Mommy/Mama" always for the one who carried the baby and "MiMi" for the one who did not. Also have heard MaMere and MeMom
I agree with MamaMarta, that Although both are mothers who deserve top billing the one who actually carried the baby usually is deferred to as the one who gets the top dog designation!

I've heard several different things. Don't make fun of me for this, but my ex and I had a cat that we were very attached to, and we both referred to ourselves as mommies... except I was Mommy and she was Laddy (lesbian daddy). On the L Word right now, the couple with a baby (Bette and Tina) are going my Momma B and Momma T. It sort of has a nice ring to it to just use the first initial... plus it's very equal amongst the two moms... there's no one person getting the preferential traditional "Mom/Mommy" title.

we are "mum and mam" or "elsa and lynne" depending on which child and what they want! :-)

Not a two mommy household here, but my boss is. Their twins call them "mama" and "mommy" and get pretty irate if you call one by the wrong title. (They're 2)

german: mama or mutti

My friends use "Momma A" & "Momma B" (M & E being their initials). I also know a couple who go by "Mommy" and "Momma" and another couple that go by "Mommy" and "Maman" ("Maman" being french for mom, of course).

Congrats to the couple of soon-to-be parents!

Our son is only 3 months old, but we're planning on Mama and Mommy unless he decides otherwise.

I usually call my mom "Mother" when addressing her directly. Maybe it would work for one to be "Mom/Mommy" and one "Mother".

Mama and Nana?

I have two mothers, although for a different reason (biomother and MOTHER-mother). If I'm feeling cute, I call biomother Momsy and my mother Mumsy. It sounds awfully silly, but it makes us all smile.

Whoops, I should have clarified that by "MOTHER-mother" I meant that I'm adopted, was that clear?

Go for Amma!!!

Maataa is mother in Hindi. But I think A LOT of people around the world use "Amma" or "Ama" (accent on the first "a" sound) to mean mother. It definitly means mother in Nepalese. I think "Amma" sounds sweet coming from a child. (You have to hear it with an accent, too. So cute!) However........It also seems to have Greek/Coptic/Semetic and religious meanings in some places:

Here's something I found on the internet siting the Aramaic:

"The term Ama, meaning "mother", also has a meaning of Main Vine, reinforcing the Nazorean concept of Heavenly Mother being a Flourishing Vine and Tree of Life."

Now what could be a sweeter statement from a mother to a child, other than I am a "flourishing vine" or a "tree of life" to you-- either physically or spiritually/emotionally? (Let's not talk financially, LOL!) You don't have to be religious. You just have to understand a bit of gardening to get how a mom is the "main vine" and children are it's branches. Take poetic license with it in your heart. Jesus sure did! LOL!

Here's a another def. I found on the internet, but it's from a Catholic website. I'm sure if anyone's interested, they'd find plenty of non-religious uses for Ama as well:

"A Semitic term meaning mother, adopted by the Copts and the Greeks as a title of honour applied to religious and ladies of high rank."

All the same--

Best wishes to you two, new parents out there! Based on how long it takes children to use the "M" word, you'll have PLENTY of time to decide what your child will call you, even AFTER the child is born.

(Who's daughter is still saying Da-Deeee and NOT Maa-Meeee after a full YEAR!!! Oh I could cry. But I love the little rugrat anyway. LOL!)

Ooooh! And if that last post wasn't long enough....(faith is looking sheepish.) But here's another one for you:

Amala [Ah-mah-lah] Sun Mother, 'Ama': "Mother" (Name of Anglo-Saxon Princess)

A the child of friends of mine call his mothers "Sweetie" and "Dear" because that's what they call each other. It stuck.

in our two mother family we use Mommy and Mama. By the time he was 8 months, my son would point to each one correctly when we said 'where's mommy' or 'where's mama'. I am mommy (and the non-bio mom). I wish we had something like Daddy and Papa but couldn't find anything that worked that other people would recognize as mom. I don't like the idea of being invisible when people hear my son saying 'mama is at work' and i am there with him. I even noticed I spoke about myself in third person as to still label myself mommy.
By the time he was 18months, he came up with '1 mommy, 1 mama...TWO MOMS!' he was V. excited to figure this out.

and...WOW. I had no idea there were so many other 2 mom families hanging out with G&D tertia.

My friends use "Mama" and "Baba." Interestingly, the biological mother is the one called "Baba." I asked my friend if "baba" was an ethnic word and she said not that she knew. Her (now ex) partner was the more masculine of the pair.


Elaine, your friend was wrong.

Baba means father in a lot of places in the world. The first one that comes to mind for me is the Yoruba language spoken by the Yoruba people in Nigeria, Africa.

But frankly, I wouldn't be too concerned in the good ol U.S. of A, if they are happy with using Baba for one of the moms. After all, when in Rome, do as the Romans. When in the U.S., do whatever the heck you want, right? LOL! Cause in Spanish, "sopa" doesn't mean soap, and "ropa" doesn't mean rope.

More on the the word "Baba."

" Baba generally means "father" in many languages, including Hindi, Albanian, Udru and Syriac"

My daughter called me "Madre" (Spanish) nice sound to that, eh?

Another vote for "Amma." My boss and her partner are "Mommy" and "Amma" and I think it's the sweetest thing. I'm thrilled to find out the origin of the name, too, so thanks, posters!

My MIL is called Manon by her step-daughter - I think it's just made up word from her real name (Marion), but it sounds enough like a mother word that it could be a foreign language somewhere.

My sister and her wife had a son (after trying for three years) two my sister in law (bio mom) would be "Mommy" and my sister (primary caregiver) would be "Momma." My nephew, now 2.5 had other plans. From the first they were both "Mama" and now they're both "Mommy."

They just figure out who he means by context.

And who's Dada and Daddy? That's apparently what he calls the dog. ;-)

I have a friend who calls his grandmother Baba (sp?) (he started it himself) and they looked it up and found it was Hebrew for Grandma. Both families were Christians and now the other Grandma wants to be Baba too.

I have no further insight into this discussion but I wanted to Congratulate your friends. That's wonderful news.

Our friends have a two and an almost one year old. They go by "mama" and "ma" Both are easy for the wee bairns to say.

Sorry so late...

But how 'bout Mo-Mo and Mimi? Then, neither is Mommy--but both have their own Sweet Name? My baby brother (who is now 24) was adopted...he called me Momo and my kids call my Mom "Mimi"--and I want MY g-kids (one day in the far future) to call me "Momo-Mimi"

Baba is Hebrew and Russian for Grandmother (remember the stories of Baba Yaga?)

We are Mommy and Maman... We are also from a bilingual household... Mommy speaks to baby in English... Maman speaks to baby in French...

Also, baby hasn't separated us... We both answer if we are both there.... and if only one, we answer without correcting her... Baby is turning 2 in april...

She also has 3 older siblings that use the appropriate designations...

and another little note... She often says "mom" (especially when she wants your attention) and "mum mum" (at night when we say goodnight to her, we get the response, "night mum mum mum) it's so cute...

We basically feel that she will get it eventually... right now, we are just trying to enjoy every little moment... without the worry of correctness...

Good luck and enjoy!!

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